On the upside, I’ve been researching a ton about Malaysia for my research paper. Problem is, I’ve been looking up all the stuff besides what I need to focus on. And I’m thinking… even if Kaness and I may not end up together in the end, I still want to go there for a couple years. Maybe even for grad school. It’s definitely a hidden gem. <3
Do you ever find yourself doing all those little tricks to make wishes? Blowing out birthday candles, throwing change in a fountain, keeping good fortunes from fortune cookies, finding a shooting star, 11:11, praying to a certain deity.
I do it all the time, hoping and believing it’ll all get better. Normally my luck gets worse right after I do it, but something inside me tells me to keep it up.
My wish? It changes a little bit over time. Lately, I’ve been wishing to be on campus more. To be able to spend time with my friends later. To have more freedom. To meet new people. To spend more time with my dear boyfriend and feel more like a girlfriend to him by going to his events. To succeed in school.
Now that I look back, I realized some of these have already started to come true. I’ve met a few new people in my classes, not as many as I planned, but a lot of the people… don’t really click with me. I feel like I’m starting to connect more with my friends back home and I’m getting to know the Phi Delta Theta guys more. There’s so many nice guys in that frat that are so fun to talk to! They always make me feel at home when I’m there too. :) And school is definitely stressful this quarter, but I seem to be pulling out quite well. I spend hours upon hours on that stupid homework. Sometimes I don’t do as well as I wish I could have, but overall I think I’m getting it.
And now I’m full out looking for scholarships and study abroad programs. Indonesia may have shut down for political issues, but that won’t stop me from going to Asia! I still have Singapore, Malaysia, and Japan to apply for! I’m definitely going to see the advisers too.
Okay okay, getting back to what I was originally saying. I think all of that wishing has finally paid off. I have to thank my sister for this. She’s been struggling in school and her grades have been dropping. Nobody is home to help her during the day because my parents work and I’m at school then my mom has to pick me up from the transit station. She finally had enough and complained and my dad said there’s a bus that I can take to his work and we can carpool home together. And then my mom can help my sister do her homework and fix up the whole because nobody else is.
What that means for me? I get to stay on campus later now. I can spend more hours straight on homework so I can focus. I can meet up with friends at better times for lunch. I can join clubs. Sometimes, I’ll leave early, but if I want to, I can stay for Kaness’s events. I can go to his dinners, his pumpking carving thing, anything. I can finally feel like his girlfriend and he doesn’t have to constantly tell his friends I’m not there because of the commuting and other problems. How is this even possible? Something has to go wrong. I’m so freaking happy, I’m on the brink of tears and all I want to do is see Kaness right now and give him the biggest hug.
1. Be more social, which I think I’m doing?
2. Get an A in Econ.
3. Work on my allergy problems and all that stuff…
4. Write, draw… I don’t know, something so I can feel productive and not just a homework junkie. D:
5. Lose 10 more pounds for a cosplay idea for Sakuracon next year.
I got this.
This quarter I’ve been getting SO MUCH reading and other homework. Like overload. It’s kind of overwhelming and it keeps me from reading on my free time. :/ And I’m reading a great book about North Korea too. I feel like my life consists of homework, video games, and work. Haha, with occasionally hanging out with friends.
I feel like part of it is my fault because I haven’t been making much of an effort to hang out. I’ve had a lot of people telling me I should meet up with them for lunch soon because they miss me and I miss them too. I do see them around campus sometimes on the way to classes. I’m just always worried about homework and stuff… Since this week is chaotic, I promise to see as many people as I can next week. I even have a chart of everyones’ schedules. It may be kind of hard because midterms are coming up… but oh well! I miss Katherine, Sok, Ternessa, Mansour, Lee, Alex, Shiyue, Stefano, Kevin, Corrine, Patrick, Airi… even Connor haha, and all the others. And I need to hang out more with my new friends like Dallas.
I especially miss Mansour though. My homeboy. My Saudi. The best college buddy you could ask for. Someone you know is always hungry and craving coffee. Someone who always has cool stories about their home country. I find myself talking about him all the time, and no it’s not a crush. Even if I did it would just be WAY too complicated because of Saudi traditions and whatnot. I wouldn’t really mind going on a date with him once, but I dunno, he’s more of a cuddly friend that I can talk to. I’m just so happy around the guy, he gives off this radiant aura of fun and… sunshine haha. He can be a drama queen too and kind of arrogant sometimes, but I like that about him. Screw all those Islamophobes, if they ever took the time to meet him they would realize he’s one of the greatest people ever.
So yeah… really missing all my friends. I’m going to make a promise to myself to work as hard as I can to get stuff out of the way so I can hang out with more people.
Negative: I’m stuck in a weight area again because I keep eating a lot. I GOTTA STOP. D:
Positive: At least I’m not gaining weight, which is cool if I can eat like this and not gain. Oh, how I love a fast metabolism.
Negative: I have a ton of reading weekly for homework that feels overwhelming sometime. And Global Health is kinda hard for me.
Positive: My other two classes are easy peasy so far, and at least I enjoy all three classes.
Negative: Friend of mine is going back to their college soon.
Positive: He’s made me feel incredibly happy this week. :) His compliments mean a lot to me and it’s fun to at least talk to him a lot. Seeing him one last time tomorrow till March.
Negative: I work till close this weekend.
Positive: I’m makin’ money. :)
Altogether, I’m pretty content right now even if I spend most of my day buried in textbooks.
I’m pretty sure I’ll do just fine in Eastern Religion and Dinosaur, it’s like middle school/high school all over again… Global Health is the one I’m worried about haha. But I’ll make it.