My friend just came out to me… and it took so much not to cry. Not because he’s gay, I really don’t care, but because I know how hard it is for him right now. He has the most strict parents who have to impress society all the time. They put so much pressure on him already and if they found out about him… I have no idea what would happen. Luckily us people here don’t mind… but I really hope he does nothing to hurt himself. :( Hearing the stuff he’s telling me… ugh. Why do people have to be so against homosexuality? I don’t understand. They’re like everyone else…
He was in class finally! And he joined our little group and we all talked. Oh my gosh, I missed his accent so much and forgot how adorable he is. After class we went off on our own to go hang out and walk together and talk…
but he had to go take a smoke in the smoking area. I didn’t think about that. I know there are a ton of reasons people enjoy smoking and that it isn’t as bad as people say… but I hate it. It is awful. It smells disgusting. And weed is just stupid. I hate stuff that screws with peoples brains or whatever. And he’s definitely had quite the rebellious life too. Soo… I don’t know if I’d actually date him if I had the chance…
Good news though is that he’s here for the summer! And I absolutely love talking to the guy. He’s so funny and friendly and I can open up to him easily. He asked me to a play on Thursday and I’m thinking about going with him. I’m not sure… If so, maybe we could hang out beforehand in Seattle. :) I definitely want to be friends with the guy… even if he smokes.
Mission Talk and Become Friends: Success.
Okay, maybe I could if I found out the guy I like likes me back… but I think I would explode into confetti if that happened. :D
- Friend: What's his name?
- Me: Oh I don't know how to spell it, but you pronounce it like this.
- Friend: Just guess at the spelling?
- Me: Okay? It's ---
- Friend: Is this his Facebook profile?
- Me: Um...no
- Friend: I just wrote his name in the search box, I'm such a creep!
I was able to find the courage in myself to talk to him! :) Aaand he’s from Malaysia, not India. I had a feeling about that. I was worried he would just think I am annoying, but that was not the case (unless he is good at hiding it). I was able to finally speak to him by asking about his tablet and that got us to talk about other stuff too. He’s actually a freshman like me surprisingly and pretty funny. And oh my gosh, he has the most adorable smile, it’s like the happiest thing I have ever seen. Mixed with his accent and his formal dress he wears sometimes for I don’t know what, it’s just… oh my gosh. I thought he’d be more serious, but he’s pretty laid back. And he knew I’m in his quiz section! Nooo regrets on finally being able to talk to him. Maybe we can hang out more :D being his friend is enough for me.
Okay, fangirling over.
I mean… I have absolutely no chance ever with you anyway. Ever.
Sorry I’m a day late for this, I slept in a long time, drove to dinner, then came home to go work at Target for Black Friday from 1130 PM to 8 AM. I just really wanted to do this. So what am I thankful for? Well………
- I’m thankful for my amazing family who has always been here for me and loves me. They don’t try to kick me out, they don’t yell at me all the time, and they accept me for who I am.
- The fact my sweet little kitty of 15 years with a hypo-thyroid disorder is still alive and kicking… and pretty sassy again too. :’)
- All my wonderful friends I’ve made along the way and kept in contact with. All of you guys make me smile.
- My job at Target, even if it’s just a low paid minimum wage job. I have decent benefits, caring management, and I work with a bunch of fun-loving goofballs.
- The opportunity to go to UW, and I promise I won’t take it for granted. I will work hard for this.
- The fact that even though we are pretty low middle class, I have it pretty dang great compared to many others in the world and I’m so lucky for that.
- Even if he can get moody, I have a great Canadian buddy who is always there for me and listens when something is wrong.
- For all the people out there protesting and working hard for all of our rights. I really hope this will change something and I really wish I could be out there with you guys.
- The fact that just trying to help people in the world and doing the right thing can help influence your life for the better, and you don’t need anything like religion to do it either.
- For the Earth I live on with all of its wonderful people, animals, and places. I hope to see more of it in a few years. :)
Aaaand….yeah. That’s about it.
So I accidentally came across this thing and I’m not mad, I’m just hurt. Most of my senior year was spent being bullied by her and her friends just for being friends with you. I kept it quiet most of the year and would come home in absolute tears and my mom would have to comfort me. I skipped school as much as I possibly could just to get away. And when I avoided them at school they still came after me. So you get upset because I finally decided to stand up to myself? Because I stopped talking to them? Because I finally had to open up? I held it in for so long and let my grades drop just so you would be happy. There’s so much I could say about them AND the school but I am going to keep it inside because I hate drama and I don’t want it to affect my sister. Its stupid, and I ‘m in college now.
I hate just being in town on weekends because all of it is just the usual gossip about people. I don’t care about these people anymore. They don’t affect me so I refuse to let it bother me. My life is good now. I love class and my friends at college. I don’t care if I don’t hang out with people every day. I actually get peace.
But honestly, I know one of the reasons is because you’re stuck at home and lonely with nothing to do and most people are gone. That gets to a person. So I really don’t care too much about this. Just try to cheer up and let go. Everything in life has a reason. :)
People are freaking shy at UW, including me. But usually when I make the effort to talk to someone, I make a really good friend there and get to hang out with them a lot. I got a few people like that… I need more. Soooooooooooooooooo I found my next victim. :) He’s a chatterbox, liberal, an international lover, and geeky and I shall make him my friend. If not, oh well. He’d be an excellent study buddy though.